Why I loved Jimmy -- But Had to Let Him Go

It's hard to cut someone from a team, even though you know it's necessary

I miss Jimmy.

I loved Jimmy.

And then, I lost him. It's all my fault. I had to cut him.

Let me explain.

Last summer I had The Cauliflower Ear Club professionally edited. The feedback was thoughtful, detailed and relentless. One of the many comments (so many that I ended up re-writing the novel for the umpteenth time) kept resurfacing:  

Too many characters. Too many wrestlers to keep straight.

I resisted. I chafed.

In my defense, this is about a wrestling team. Every weight class matters. Every wrestler earns their place. Also—I had spreadsheets. Pages of notes. Backstories. Emotional arcs. I knew exactly who everyone was.

The problem? No one else did. Of course, the editor was right.

But who to cut? Each wrestler had something to contribute to the team, to the overall arc of the story. I had carried the affection I had for the boys on my husband’s wrestling team into the characters, and felt a maternal attachment to them all. Cutting one felt personal. Possibly grounds for therapy.

I started with the essentials: the locker room leader, the workhorse, the arrogant world champion, the mouthy comedian, angry kid with something to prove, the one who settles for second, the one carrying prejudice.

Each of them carried the story forward, but sadly, I realized that Jimmy didn’t.

He was sweet. Anxious. The athlete who loses not because of lack of talent but from lack of belief. His role was to show how confidence can be coached, and that it can grow, that someone can change not because they win, but because they begin to think they can.

And still, he had to go.

That’s the brutal reality of storytelling: if a character doesn’t actively drive the plot, deepen the central arc, or sharpen the reader’s experience—they’re at risk. Even the ones who are so real to the writer the she forgets they are imagined.

A few others barely survived. Kai Olsen and Joseph Mann are still in the lineup—but they’ve been benched, narratively speaking. They now step in mainly for scoring, placement, and the mechanics of competition. (They’ve taken it relatively well although they’re still not speaking to me.)

As for Jimmy, maybe this isn’t goodbye. Characters we cut have a way of lingering, waiting until the right story comes along. Jimmy, you may just get your comeback.

ellenwrites.ca